The main dish for Christmas in Peru is turkey. The streets of Cajamarca away from the center are full of turkeys (there were maybe 10 of them just outside my school!). Not many of those turkeys survive Christmas. But how does this big bird become a dish? – it is not as simple as you may think. Turkey is a strong animal and killing it is not as easy as killing a chicken. The aunt of my friend told me that once a big turkey managed to kick her and her husband and run away. So the trick is to … make the turkey drunk! Buy a bottle of wine (or something stronger) and make your turkey drink it! After some time the turkey gets happy and quiet .. and finally falls asleep making snoring noises. And this is your moment!
The stories how to make a turkey drunk made me laugh the whole evening! So here – to make you laugh – a traditional peruvian turkey joke.
An old lady had a turkey – big, fat and strong turkey, just as it should be for Christmas. She was hesitant to kill it herself so she hired a man to kill it for her. The man says: – Sure, I´ll do it, but I need to make the turkey a bit drunk. So please give me a bottle of wine and I will start the ritual. The lady agrees and leaves the man alone with the turkey. Time passes, nothing happens so she looks in: – What about my turkey? The man, already a little bit weak in his legs, answers: – Oh, my lady, this turkey is super strong, I need another bottle of wine! So he gets another bottle of wine. Time passes, nothing happens.. Lady gets anxious and looks in again and finds the man and her turkey, hugging each other on the floor: -Ey, what happened to my turkey?? And hears a drunk voice: Damn you lady, nobody is going to touch my friend!!!